I wont forget you
by niadk
Summary: This idea came to me when Jeremy said to Damon: "you may erased my memories, but the feeling is still here". What If Damon met Elena before Stefan? What If she had fallen for him first, but he had erased her memories? I dont own TVD and these characters
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me when Jeremy said to Damon at the finale : "you may erased my memories, but the feeling is still here". What If Damon met Elena before Stefan? What If she had fallen for him first, but he had erased her memories? Would he erase her feelings too?**

Elena was mad. No. She was furious. She thought that Damon was her friend. How could he? How could he have done that to her. Erase her memories? She had to find out what had happened then. Why Damon did this.

She opened her journal in an attempt to relish her anger

_Dear diary_

_I found out today that me and Damon have met before. I walked in to the boarding house and I overheard him talking to Stefan about that. Stefan was asking him about then. He was asking Damon about that time, but Damon was saying that what happened almost two years ago, is not important. That it shouldnt matter since I dont have any memory of that. That noone, except of him, will ever know. I was in shock at first. Apparently me and Damon met the summer of 2008. Almost one year before my parents died. Were we friends? I have no idea. Did he use me like Caroline? Was I his play thing? I dont Know. But I will. I will. Even If this is the last thing I will do._

_P.S. I am also so mad with Stefan right now. He knew about that and he didnt say anything._

Elena closed her diary and sighed. Summer of 2008. Bonnie had left town. Caroline also. She wasn't dating Matt yet, but she was spending a lot of time with him. Maybe he could tell her something. She took her car keys and left her room. She would visit Matt and maybe he could help her put the puzzle pieces in order..

**Author's not: So What do you think? Should I continue this or not? I am not sure If its a good idea... **


	2. Matt

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I dont own Ian Somerhalder also...**

**Author's note: I want to apologize for any grammar/word mistakes you will find, since English is not my mother language and its difficult for me to express my thoughts in it.**

This thing could drive her crazy. That was for sure. If it was just an acquaintance, then Damon wouldn't bother to erase her memories. So there had to be more. Something had happened between them. Something important. Could it be that he had tried to kill her? No. Noway. She was certain, somehow, that he hadn't.

Surely he had been drawn to her by her resemblance to Katherine. That must had been the reason why he approached her in the first place. Maybe he had thought, that She was her. But what happened when he realized that she wasn't his beloved Katherine? She signed in frustration as she pulled her car to "the Grill's" parking lot.

Matt looked surprised

-"What do you mean what happened that summer? Are you suffering of memory loss or something?"

-" No" Elena sighed "I know that I might sound strange, but the truth is that I have some blanks from that summer. We were spending a lot of time together. Right?"

-" Well" Matt rolled his eyes "We didn't actually spend a lot of time together"

-"Really?" Elena asked confused

-"Really. We hanged out, but after you met that dude... Well, you were spending all of your time with him. I am sure you remember _that_." he said with emphasis. "And I know that you had been talking to Bonnie about him. She had felt the need to tell me not to keep my hopes up, since you were claiming that he was ... the love of your life."

-"Bonnie?" Elena asked confused

-"Yeap. I know, that you used to call her almost every day to fill her in. You know... about him. Seriously now. Where are you going with this? Why are you asking me about that?"

- "Well" Elena hesitated " I dont remember... that boy...very well"

Matt widened his eyes "Seriously? How its possible that you dont remember him Elena?" He said angrily and turned his back on her. Elena felt confused once again.

- "Why are you acting like that? Why is it so bad that I dont remember him well? I was sixteen. I was allowed to have a meaningless flirt" she said trying to sound casual.

-"Well. You certainly didnt think it was meaningless back then. Dont you think? He was your... first, after all. I guess that you were feeling _something_" Matt said with annoyance, looking at her straight into her eyes. " What's wrong with you Elena?"

Elena felt like someone just punched her in the stomach. _No... No, no_. she was repeating to herself. _But... Matt was her first. Wasn't he? Apparently not! But she.._, She felt her head spinning and collapsed into the first chair that came her way.

- "Elena are you alright?" Matt asked and she just nobbed. It could not be Damon. Could it be? She had an affair with him? This was not what she expected to find out. She had to know though. She had to know everything. She was going to get to the bottom of that.

-"Thanks Matt" she whispered, got up and left before her friend could say another word. She took her phone out and dial Bonnie's number.

Her friend picked up a few second later.

-"Hey Elena. What's up?"

-"Bonnie" she said almost desperately and felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

-"Elena? What is going on?" Bonnie asked with concern

-"Tell me about the boy that I have met the summer of 2008"

-"What?" Bonnie asked confused

-"Please just tell me about him" Elena replied breathless

-"There is not much to tell. I never met him. Remember? I was away with my gram. And though you had told me that you had some pictures of him, you never showed them to me".

-"Continue" Elena said

-"I was a little worried about you and him. He was mysterious and older, so to be honest, I was kind of glad when you called me crying and told me that he was going to leave from Mystic Falls. And then, a few days later, when I asked you what happened with him and you replied "With whom?", I decided to leave it like that. It was obvious that you wanted to forget him, so I ve never asked you again".

Elena felt her head spinning again. "What else?" she requested, her voice barely coming out of her throat.

-"What do you mean what else?" Bonnie asked

-"Please". She practically screamed and then she took a deep breath. "I am sorry" she apologized "Its Just that... I want to know everything. What I have told you about him. How did I meet him? What was his name? Everything"

-"Actually, its strange now that I am thinking about it, but you never told me his name. When I asked you, you said "well, lets call him "Apollona" The Greek God of light and beauty." Anyway. The truth is that you didn't share many details about this relationship with me. You were going on and on about how much in love you were and that you had the time of your life with him, but the details… We were supposed to talk about everything when I would return… Elena. Please". Bonnie begged "Tell me what is going on"

-"I think that… this boy… this man was… Damon" Elena said breathless and she didn't hear anything from the other side of the phone, for a few seconds.

-" Oh, my God" Bonnie finally whispered.

-"I have to go" Elena said and ended the call, before Bonnie had the chance to reply. She opened her car's door, sat in driver's seat and put her hands on the wheel. She let a deep breath out and she started crying. She cried until she felt that she had no tears left.

She was thinking what Bonnie had told her again and again when, suddenly something hit her mind. _Pictures! _She said to herself. _Bonnie said that I had pictures of him…_ She started the engine and drove her car away from "the Grill"

* * *

Damon was in shock. Elena heard them. She heard that they had met before. She knew..

-"This is your fault" Stefan screamed and Damon turned to him in surprise "My fault Stefan? REALLY? Your insecurity did that. Dont blame _me_ for _your_ weakness. You just had to know! You had to ask about it! Again and again. Why couldn't you just let it go? Elena would never knew, but you were afraid. You were afraid and you ruined everything".

-"I wont let you destroy my relationship with Elena" Stefan hissed behind his teeth.

-"Well, that was not my intention, dearest brother. And why would I need to do that? You are doing a fine job yourself" Damon said and shut the door behind him. _I have to find her._ He thought and walked on to his car.

* * *

**Ok. That was it! Tell me If you think its interesting. Thank you so much for reading this and If you have any suggestions or advices for me I would be grateful to know. Thanks!**


	3. The picture

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I dont own Ian Somerhalder also...**

**Author's note: Again I want to apologize for any grammar/word mistakes you will find, since English is not my mother language and its difficult for me to express my thoughts in it.**

Elena walked into the photo shop to find Mr Williamson seating behind the corner like usual. He pushed his glasses down onto his nose, looked at her and smiled.

-"Elena" he said cheerfully and got up from the booth.

-"Hello Mr. Williamson. How are you?"

- "I am fine" he said with a big smile "Wow, its been a long time. You used to be here, almost every day. Anyway, do you have any new pictures that you want me to print"?

- "No, actually I came here to talk to you about some old pictures" he raised his eyebrows in question and Elena continued "I lost some pictures, that meant a lot to me. The pictures I took the summer of 2008. Is there a chance that you can find them? Do you keep a file or something?"

- "Well, actually I do." Mr. Williamson said "Come back tomorrow and..."

- "No" Elena gasped forcing the old man to look at her with surprise

-"Please Mr. Williamson. I need them now" she begged him

The man sighed and then he smiled "You are my favorite girl. How can I say no? Just give me 20 to 30 minutes and I will have them for you" and with that he disappeared into the back of the store. He returned 25 minute later holding a file.

-"Here" he said smiling at her "free of charge"

Elena thanked him, walked on to her car and got inside. She took a deep breath and opened the file. She saw a picture of her parents, laughing. Jeremy, her and Jeremy, a beautiful lake, Matt next to his new car and then... she frowned. There he was. Damon... He was obviously surprised and he looked like he was trying to prevent her from taking the picture. He had his left hand in front of his face, but his eyes were looking straight into the camera. She could see his eyes and that was all she needed to see to know that it was him. She would recognize those eyes everywhere. Anytime._So Its true _she said to herself _But what happened exactly? I cannot ask him. I don't trust him any more. Since he erased my memory, he doesn't want me to know. Could I have spoken to anyone else about him? _Instantly her diary came to her mind. _There must be something there_ she thought and started her car's engine.

* * *

He didn't know where to look for her, so he stayed out of her house. Hoping and praying that those news wouldnt destroy their relationship. Their friendship. _Of course they will _a voice inside of his mind told him _What did you think? She will never forgive you._

He took a deep breath and he thought about the day that he had returned to Mystic Falls. It was so hard for him, when she looked at his eyes and obviously, she didn't recognize him.

_"You must be Elena. I'm Damon"_

It was torture. But he knew that he has done the right thing by erasing her memories back then. He had to do it. Because he _loved _her…

* * *

Elena got home and run up to her bedroom without saying a word to Jenna or Jeremy who were sitting in the living room. She grabbed her diary and searched for what she was looking for. Nothing. She tried to relax and looked again.

_**June 8th 2008**_

She flipped to the next page and read the date __

_**August 15th 2008**_. Nothing in between. Someone had ripped off the pages. Two months of her life had just vanished. She had lost two whole months. She let all the rage inside come out. She threw her diary to the wall and started taking her clothes out of the closet, throwing them everywhere in the room. Searching for the pages, although she already knew that she wouldn't find them there. Then she walked to her draw she opened it ready to continue searching, but she stopped as she heard his voice. "There are not there". She turned around and saw Damon standing in the door. Her eyes were burning from the tears and her arms were shaking from the nerves. "Where are the pages of my diary?" she asked slowly with a shaking voice.

-"Stop this, Elena" he whispered

-"Stop it"? she screamed "how dare you saying this to me"?

-"It was not important" Damon said firmly. Elena walked to him and slapped him. She was trembling and suddenly she started laughing through her tears. "Wow. This is the 3rd time since we met that I felt the need to do that. But wait… Is it? The 3rd time I mean? Please Damon, enlighten me. Did we share moments like these before? "

Damon didn't say a word. She could see the pain in his eyes and she felt her heart ache at the intensity of his look. Suddenly he… vanished. Just like that he disappeared of her sight. Elena took a deep breath and sat on her bed. She felt so tired and so helpless. But, before she knew, Damon was standing in front of her again, holding the pages of her diary. "I had them in my car." He said and extended his hand to her direction. Elena looked at the pages, but she didn't move.

"I don't want to read about my life Damon" she said, her voice barely coming out of her throat. "My life is not a novel. I want to remember what happened. I want to know what you did. What happened between us. I want my memories back"

Damon sighed. "I cannot do anything about that. Since they have been erased, there is no turning back. But honestly, I am not sorry for what I did. I had to. It was for the best. Anyway, even If I wanted to bring them back, I cant".

-" I can"

Damon and Elena turned around surprised and saw Bonnie standing next to the door.

-" I can put a spell into those pages and you will remember everything. If that's what you want, then I would do it" Bonnie told her

Elena turned her eyes to Damon. "Yes. That's what I want" she replied, staring at him. He shook his head slowly and she saw desperation in his eyes "Don't do it"

-" Too bad that you don't agree, but I already made up my mind. Goodbye, now, Damon" Elena said and pointed the door.

**So we will get to see what happened then between Elena and Damon. I want to thank you again for reading this and If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thank you.**


	4. Remember

**Disclaimer: I don't own "The Vampire Diaries" or these characters. Unfortunately, I don't own Ian Somerhalder also...**

**Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews. You cant even imagine how important they are to me. This would be mostly for Elena's POV, since she will start remember what happened with her and Damon. If you have any suggestions or requests, please let me know. Thanks again.**

Bonnie light some candles around the room. She and Elena sat on the bed facing each other with the diary papers between them. They put their hands together and Bonnie took a deep breath.

"I am ready. Are you sure that you want that?"

" Yes" Elena replied "I want to remember everything"

Bonnie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She started whispering some words and suddenly the pages lifted up and float around. A few seconds later Bonnie opened her eyes and the papers fell down to the bed again.

"Its done" she said "As you will read, you will have flashbacks and all the memories will come back. Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Elena nobbed and Bonnie stood up. "Ok. But If you need anything, call me and I will come here immediately. I will be by your side for this. Ok?". Elena smiled "Thank you, for being such a good friend"

"You have the right to Know" Bonnie said and Elena hugged her. They stayed like that for a few seconds and then Bonnie left closing the door behind her.

Elena, sat on the bed took the Diary pages in her hands and read the first sentence

_June 9th 2008_

_Dear Diary_

_Today I met the most handsome man alive. Honestly... _

She closed her eyes and the memories started flashing through her mind. She could picture it as if it had happened yesterday

* * *

_**Two years ago**_

She was in a hurry to get to the grocery store when she tripped and her purse fell out of her hands. She sighed in frustrations watching the contents of her purse all over the sidewalk. She bent down and quickly began gathering up when she heard a voice " Dont forget this". She looked up and saw a man holding her keys, smiling at her. He was definitely the most beautiful man she had ever seen and Elena felt her heart missing a beat. Dark hair, blue eyes and a smile that could send someone to heaven. She took her a few seconds to snap out of her daydream and realize that he was looking at him with her mouth open! She got up and took her keys, feeling her cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment.

"Thank you" she whispered.

"Anytime. I am Damon by the way" he said extending his hand for her to shake

"Elena"

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, looking deeply in her eyes "Nice meeting you Elena". He smiled and she felt a chill on her back.

He turned around to leave, but stopped when he heard her say

"Are you from here? I mean, from Mystic Falls?" She asked in an attempt to keep the conversation going and instantly she felt ashamed of herself. He turned around slowly and a small smile came to his face

" No. I am just visiting my uncle".

" Oh. So, you wont be staying for long... I guess" Elena said before she could stop the words coming out of her mouth. _God what's wrong with me?_ she thought and almost missed his laugh .

" Well, I am not leaving today" Damon replied raising an eyebrow playfully at her.

"So, maybe I will see you around then. Bye" Elena said quickly, trying to avoid embarrassing herself any further

"What are you doing tonight?" Damon asked and she frowned.

"Tonight? Well... There is a party, to the lake..."

"Ok. I will See you there. Bye now, Elena" he said smiling and walked away.

Elena watched him, until he got into his car and drove away. Her head was spinning. _What just happened? Do I have a date with him?_ She asked herself, but then she decided that this was not the point. What mattered was that she would see him again soon and she almost screamed with happiness.

* * *

"Elena" Matt said irately

"What? Sorry I didn't hear you"

"Well yeaa. I can see that. I was telling you that Vicky and Tyler are going to get something to drink. Do you want anything? Elena? Helloooo? " Matt said throwing his hands up angrily at her.

"Sorry Matt. No, I am fine thank you" Elena replied, but she continued looking around for him

"What's wrong? Are you expecting anyone? You seem distracted since we came to the party. Are you looking for someone?". He asked again

"Just a friend" Elena replied without looking at him. _Please come, please come_ she was repeating to herself, when she finally saw him. He was standing alone, away from everyone else, leaning into a tree and staring at her.

_"Thank you God"_ she whispered with a smile and walked to him.

"Hey" she said trying to sound casual, like she wasn't looking for him, since the minute she got to the lake..

"Hey Elena" he replied, taking her hand into his. His touch sent shivers down her spine. Her mouth went dry, and she swallowed, nervously

"Why don't you come over to introduce you to my friends" she said casually

"I'd rather not. Why don't we take a walk instead" he said and a smirk came to his face

"Ok" Elena replied and they started walking side by side, away from the party.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, until Damon spoke "So. Tell me about you"

"Me? What do you want to know?"

"Everything there is to Know. Tell me about your life"

"Well, nothing excited here. Happy family. Mum, dad and a younger brother. I go to high school, I am a cheerleader, Bonnie and Caroline are my best friends. I want to be a writer and I want to travel the world. That's about it. So, now its your turn. Tell me about you Damon"

"Writer huh? Interesting." He said smiling" Well, I have a younger brother too, but I have lost both my parents"

"Oh, I am sorry" Elena said

"Its Ok. It was a long time ago. I am over it. Anyway, I ve been traveling a lot... "

"Do you have a girlfriend?" the words came out, before she had the chance to think about them. _What's wrong with me?_ She thought and almost missed his reply

"No. Not any more"

"Sad story? Broke your heart?"

"You can say that"

"What was her name?"

"Katherine. But enough about her. What about you? Do _you_ have a boyfriend?"

"No" she said and she saw him smiling. He stopped walking and turned around so he could face her.

"So, What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked her

"I don't have any plans" Elena replied raising her eyebrows

"Well. You do now". Damon announced.

"I do huh?" she said playfully

"Yeap. I ll be waiting for you, where we met this morning. Seven sharp. Be there" he said running his fingers lightly up Elena's cheek. She felt her heart beat raising and before she could reply, he walked away and vanished into the woods.

Elena felt so happy she wanted to jump up and down. She run back to her friends and started dancing, feeling more alive than ever.

* * *

_**Present day**_

Elena covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath. All this time she thought that Damon and her met at the boarding house, not too long ago.

_"You must be Elena. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother"_

How could she miss it? She should have known. There was something so familiar in his eyes, but... she didn't pay attention. She should though. She felt so deceived. This was too much for her to handle, but the Pandora's box was open. There was no turning back "So sit back and enjoy the ride" she said to herself and moved to next page.

* * *

**I know that this chapter was kind of flat, but it was just the first time they met, so... Anyway Next chapter: first date, dancing and ... a present. And, please forgive me for any grammar/word mistakes. Thank you so much for reading this  
**


	5. Vervain

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I don't own Ian Somerhalder also... **

**Author's note: Special thanks to Meaghan for her help. Meaghan you are a treasure!  
**

* * *

Elena ignored another call from Stefan. She wasn't ready to speak with him. She felt betrayed that he kept a secret this important from her. She needed to remember everything that happened before she could talk to anyone.

She took the next diary page in her hand and started reading

_June 10__th_ _2008_

_Dear Diary_

_Today is a special day. I have a date with Damon…._

_

* * *

_

_**Two years ago**_

She woke up and looked at the clock. It was still 6 a.m. She was so nervous and excited about the upcoming date with this mysterious and gorgeous man, that the hours seemed to stay still. "_Thirteen hours until I see him again"_ she said out loud then she panicked. "_What should I wear?" _She asked herself as she jumped out of the bed and went to her closet. She spent almost the entire morning going through her clothes trying to decide what to wear. Changing her mind a dozen times, finally she sat on her bed, thinking that nothing was good enough. '_Ok. I have to relax, otherwise I will definitely mess this up'_ she thought and tried her favorite black dress once again. She looked at herself in the mirror deciding that it was not so bad after all.

This man was certainly dangerous. He had an effect on her, that almost scared her.

She was ready at 6.00 pm, sitting in her room, looking at the clock every two minutes. Finally, the time had come. She got up and took a deep breath. "_Its time._" she whispered, she gave one last look at herself in the mirror before walking out of her room.

Damon was already there when she arrived outside. He was standing next to his car, smiling at her. He gave her an approving look and his gaze was so intense that her breath caught in her throat. For a moment, she felt like an animal caught in a hunter's sight.

"Hi Elena" he said playfully and opened the passenger door pointing at the seat. "Get in"

Elena stood still for a second and then she asked "Where are we going?"

"Dinner and dancing. Come on. Get in." he said making a motion with his head.

Elena sighed and got into the car.

"There is a great place, in a town nearby. We will be there in thirty minutes." he said looking at the road

"Couldn't you find something in Mystic Falls?" she asked raising her eyebrows

"Nothing that you haven't already seen" he replied with a smirk.

They started chatting about Elena's life and Damon showed an honest interest in learning more about her family and friends. Before she knew it they had arrived in a beautiful restaurant with a deck overlooking a small lake. Soft light emanating from small candles on the tables and peaceful background music was playing making the scenery so much like a movie. It was gorgeous and the views were absolutely spectacular.

They sat on a corner table and soon a waiter came and gave them the menus.

"Let me order for both of us" Damon said

"You think that you have figured me out. Don't you?" Elena asked raising her eyebrows

"But I have." Damon replied

"Ok, then. Tell me"

"You are honest. You care about people. You try to see the good in them. You always say what you think and… you still believe that your life can be a fairytale" He lowered his voice as he finished his sentence. Elena felt a chill in her back. He was looking straight into her eyes, and she was looking right into his, she felt her body burning. When the waiter came again to take their order Elena snapped out of his hypnotic gaze.

The next two hours passed quickly. Elena had to admit that the dish that Damon chose for her was perfect. She asked him about the countries that he had visited and she laughed with his unique stories.

"My favorite city is Athens." he said

"And why is that?" Elena asked

"Well, besides of the history, I admire that the people of this city live like… vampires" Damon replied slowly, smirking.

"Vampires?"

"Yes. This city has more life at night. It's like the people are sleeping during the day and step outside of their homes when the sun sets"

"I couldn't live like that" she said firmly. "I am a morning person."

"Then I wont take you to Athens with me, the next time I visit."

"Well, let me think" Elena made a funny expression pretending that she was giving it a second thought and said "I could handle it for a couple of nights, I guess."

Damon laughed and suddenly got up from his chair and extended his hand to her. "Will you dance with me?"

"Here? Now?" Elena asked looking around

"Yes"

"But no one is dancing"

"So?" he asked looking at her like she was crazy.

Elena smiled and took his hand. A second later she was in his embrace, dancing with him. She looked into his eyes and she felt like she had known him much longer than just this short time. She felt like she was home. No one else existed except the two of them. He had a small smile on his face and Elena smiled back. They continued dancing, in silence until the music stopped.

* * *

_**Present Day**_

Elena wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and swallowed hard. Her head hurt from crying her throat aching from too many sobs.

She thought back to the ' Miss Mystic Falls Pageant'. It had felt so right, being in his arms while they danced she had been lost in his gaze while the song played forgetting about everything and everyone, including Stefan. For that, she felt guilty. She silently scolded herself, she shouldn't feel guilty because it wasn't the first time that they had danced together. Although, at the time, she didn't remember the first dance they shared on the deck of the restaurant, her heart remembered...

She sobbed harder with this revelation clutching her chest in pain her heart felt as though it were cracking too pieces. She dried her eyes as best she could, took a deep breath and continued to read..

* * *

_**Two years ago **_

They returned back to Mystic Falls in complete silence. Elena had closed her eyes, smelling his cologne, thinking that If this was a dream she never wanted to wake up. They arrived at her house, he turned off the engine of his car. He got out and opened the car door for her and gave her his hand. Elena took it and stepped out, she wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her right now.

"I had a wonderful time." she said

"Well, I have to admit that you are not the worst company in the world Elena." he said playfully.

"So, Goodnight" she said smiling.

"Goodnight" she turned around to leave but he grabbed her hand and stopped her.

"Wait a minute" He said and she felt her heart start beating rapidly

He leaned into his car and took a box from inside. "This, is for you"

"For me?" Elena asked confused

"Yes. Open it" he ordered.

She opened the box revealing a beautiful silver bracelet.

Elena was speechless

"Let me help you" Damon said and put it around her hand

"Its beautiful" Elena finally whispered.

"Do you see this small lock?" Damon asked. When she nodded he continued "Inside there is a plant called Vervain. It will keep you safe"

"From what?"

"From me." Damon said smiling. He kissed the back of her hand and got into his car. "I will see you tomorrow" he said and left, while Elena was still trying to understand what he meant.

* * *

_**Present day**_

Elena got up and went to her jewelry box, searching for the bracelet. She found it, hidden in a box. She put it in her hand and her mind went to another conversation she had with Damon not too long ago

"_I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fan and I wanted to be real"_

_'That's why he gave me this'_ she thought looking at the bracelet '_because he wanted to make sure that it was real…'_

_

* * *

_**So, That was it. Please let me know what you think about it. Did you like it? Do you have any suggestions? Please let me know. We will start to get to the main story now, that will lead us to why Damon erased Elena's memories. Thank you so much for reading this! **_  
_


	6. The kiss

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I don't own Ian Somerhalder also**

**Author's note: If you Like this chapter is because of Meaghan. This is, actually, our story. **

Elena looked at the bracelet once again running her fingers along the cool metal. Closing her eyes she felt dizzy and sick to her stomach. She had not been this overwhelmed with hopelessness since her parents died.

The memories brought to the surface a slew of conflicting feelings. She had known that by bringing them back she took a path that could lead her to a dangerous truth. She knew that the feelings she had for Damon two years ago, were real and very much still apart of her. This was a lot for her to take in as her mind traveled back to Stefan. This was going to change their relationship, for that she was certain. She wasn't sure how, but she knew that things could never be the same between them. She took another page in her hand reluctant to keep going. There was no way she could go back now. _"Let's finish this."_ she said. Determination over coming her, she started reading again

_June 11th 2008  
Dear Diary  
Today was the most amazing day of my life…_

_

* * *

__**  
Two years ago**_

Her phone beeping woke her up early in the morning. Groaning as she reached for the offending object, vaguely noticing her room was still dark as it was either very late or very early, she didn't know which.

Her mood perking up substantially when she saw who the text was from.

_"Lets spend the day together. I will pick you up in 15 and have you back by midnight.."_

She briefly looked at the clock noting it was only 5am and the sun had not even peaked over the horizon as she jumped out of bed, hurrying around her room to get ready.

She left a note to her parents, explaining to them that she would be visiting Caroline and that she would be back around midnight. She walked out of her house giddy with the prospect of seeing Damon again.  
Thirty minutes later she was in Damon's car smiling.

"So, where are we going?"

"That is a surprise." He smirked, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Surprise, huh?" Elena asked smiling back at him.

"Yep. You are going to love it. Trust me." he replied cheerfully

Elena nodded "I do." she said thinking that this was absolutely true. Although she had only known him for just two days she knew in her heart that she could trust him with her life…

"I'm going to take you to the top of the world" he said smiling, more to himself than to her

"What do you mean?" she asked

"You'll see. Its my favorite place" he replied nostalgically.

Two hours later, they had turned down a dirt road that almost looked more like a wide trail with rocks and debris from the surrounding trees covering the ground they drove on. After bringing them further into the woods, Damon suddenly pulled to the side of the road..  
Elena looked at Damon questioningly wondering what they would do from here. As if translating her expression correctly Damon looked at her and smiled his eyes glistened playfully.

"Now, we walk." Without giving her a chance to respond Damon leapt from the car making his way over to her side opening the door for her.

After helping her out of the car and grabbing what looked to be a picnic basket from the backseat of the car, Damon started to walk signaling for Elena to follow. They walked along a path that seemed to be leading them up a mountain. Elena looked around her as they walked in comfortable silence listening to the trees blowing slightly in the wind, their leaves creating whispers around them.

Elena thought back to all of the times she had been in the woods before, whether for camping or just partying with her friends. None of those times did she recall any place looking and feeling like this. It was as if these woods were magical as if they held a secret that Elena was desperate to know. Even the green in the trees seemed deeper and richer, it reminded her of a movie set, of a place she had always longed to go to but was sure did not exist.  
The birds sang sending echoes around them, creating the perfect soundtrack to their seemingly perfect backdrop.

All to soon Damon stopped pulling Elena from her thoughts as she looked around, a gasp escaping her lips as she took in the view before her. The sun was just peaking around the horizon painting the sky shades of oranges and pinks. The colors seemed to be chasing away the ghastly blue light that had covered them previously.  
They had arrived in a place so beautiful, it was like nothing Elena had ever witnessed before. It was as if they were really on top of the world. The orange of the sunrise coating the trees below them giving the illusion that they were glowing. She let out a sigh. The view was breathtaking, she could see the peaks of surrounding mountains reaching towards the sky. There was a waterfall in front of them creating a mist that shimmered around them, enveloping the two in it's magic, captivating them in the moment. She looked over the side of the cliff they stood upon, watching the waterfall pour into a river below them reflecting back the beauty of the sky and the scene around them.

"Do you like it"? Damon asked quietly in reverence to the sight before him .

"I do" she almost whispered and without even realizing it she took his hand into hers. Instantly, she felt Damon's body tense. He pulled his hand from hers and turned away. Elena felt stung by his sudden rejection, but before she had the time to think about his reaction, he spoke.

"I have prepared a picnic basket for us. Come on, lets have breakfast." he said casually smiling at her as he laid out the blanket he pulled from the basket. Elena took a seat, still feeling confused and if she was being truthful with herself she was a little hurt.

Damon opened the basket "This is just the first part of our day." He smiled at her "After this, I have another surprise." He quirked his eyebrow shooting her a mischievous grin.

Elena raised her eyebrow back at him. Laughing as the previous awkward moment was forgotten, she did not question him though. She knew at this moment, she would go where ever this man would lead her. She was inexplicably drawn to him.

* * *

"A baseball game?" Elena asked happily as Damon pulled into the stadium.

"Yea"

"I love it!" She said laughing as she looked around at all the fans piling them selves into the stadium wearing team colors, some with painted faces to show their proffered team's pride. They parked and Elena launched herself out of the car almost running in anticipation. She didn't even care who was playing, she liked watching baseball. The atmosphere the smell of the hot dogs and peanuts wafting through the air. The crowd chanting as one unit for a specific team or booing a ref for a bad call. She loved it all, she had not been to a baseball game since she went with her Father and Jeremy for Jeremy's 8th birthday a few years ago.

"I Know." Damon replied with an arrogant smirk as he stepped in front of her making her stop and put a baseball hat in her head. Adjusting it for her she smiled up at him. "Now, you are ready." he smiled back looking satisfied with himself and continued to walk towards the entrance of the stadium.

Once inside he bought her coke and he got himself a beer. Their seats were right above the home teams dugout. Elena looked around taking in the atmosphere and smiled brightly 'This day can not get any better' she thought as her eyes fell on the incredible man next to her.

* * *

Damon wanted the day to finish at the lake. "Lets cool down before I take you back home" he told her, as they arrived at a small beach that had no people in sight. They had the beach to themselves, Elena smiled at the thought.

The full moon made the lake shimmer like liquid silver. Elena sat on the shore gazing at the stars unable to withhold the content smile on her face and Damon lay down next to her with his hands behind his head looking at the moon.

"It has been an amazing day." She stated as she looked over at Damon.

"And its not over yet" Damon added with a smirk "So Cinderella? What do you want to do before Midnight comes and your carriage turn into a pumpkin?"

"Hmm." Elena said thoughtfully furrowing her brow. "I want to swim!" She exclaimed laughing.

"What? Now?" Damon asked wide eyed obviously surprised by her request.

"Yes, now. Why? Are you afraid?" she teased him. She got up and started taking off her clothes, until she left with her black underwear and bra set "Come on, Damon!" she shouted as she ran to the lake.

He looked at her laughing and then he got up taking off his shirt. Elena felt her heart beat rise as she watched him get undressed. He was like a Greek God, perfect and gorgeous as the moonlight reflected on his abs sending shivers down Elena's spine. A few seconds later, he was in the lake with her.

Elena splashed him playfully and suddenly they were splashing and dunking each other, laughing.

Suddenly, Damon grabbed her wrist and pulled her close to him. The laughter dying in her throat as he slid his hands around her waist holding her in place against him.

As he looked her into her eyes Elena felt her body start to tremble as his fingertips grazed her skin. Water was dripping off his hair, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. His gaze, so intense and so deep she thought that he was staring right into her soul. She saw an emotional struggle in his eyes his need to be close to her was palpable and hung in the air, but at the same time Elena felt as if he was also ready to pull away.

She reached up, her hand visibly trembling as she lightly traced the contours of the side of his face gently. She stared at him in awe as he closed his eyes, his face relaxing as leaned into her touch.

Finally, he lowered his face to hers slowly, gazing into her eyes brushing his lips across hers softly.

He pulled his face away exploring her eyes, as if trying to read her very being. He ran his hand through her hair, looking at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He captured her lips again quickly, harder this time, exploring every inch of her mouth passionately. Elena felt hot and cold sparks exploding through her the moment his lips touched hers. Surges with such intensity her head started spinning her breath catching in her throat. This was magical Elena knew at that moment that this man would leave a mark on her life forever.

Damon pulled away first, a few moments later, both of them breathless. He rested his forehead against hers, looking at her 'Elena...' he whispered touching her face softly. Suddenly his eyes grew darker and he turned away from her.

* * *

_**Present Day**_

Elena touched her tingling lips, the sense of the kiss was there as if it had happened a second ago. The more memories she experienced the more difficult it was for Elena to understand why Damon had made her forget.

Damon, the man she thought she knew as the person she always verbally sparred with. Every remark he made was laced heavily with innuendo, always wearing a mask of indifference no matter that she knew he wasn't as uncaring as he wanted everyone to think.

So Why then had he used his compulsion on her? What was so different in the past then now?

_Was it because of Katherine? Because, he had been planning to release her from the tomb, two years from then_? Elena felt her heart cracking at the thought, when she had been falling desperately in love with Damon, He was in love with another woman. A woman, who was Elena's own perfect twin. Suddenly she felt jealous. Jealousy was closely followed by fear. Fear that she was nothing but a temporary replacement for Katherine, fear that Damon had not felt anything for her at that time and fear that because while her memories were coming back, she realized her feelings for Damon were coming back just as strongly. _'Or Maybe'_ she thought _'My feelings for Damon never left.'_

The more she remembered, the more complicated things become. _'I have the feeling that I will regret this after all.'_ She thought grimly as she continued reading...

* * *

**Thank you so much for your reviews and I hope that you will enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you think about it! Did you like it?  
**


	7. Fighting

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I dont own Ian Somerhalder also...**

**Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews and Special thanks to Peachie X for her help. Rating will be changing to T in the next chapter. Please let me know If you like this.**

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* * *

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Elena was completely overwhelmed by her returning memories. Going through the tattered pages of her diary hundreds of images kept invading her mind. She closed her eyes and gripped the bridge of her nose trying to relax her self, she could already feel a headache coming on.

Damon she met two years ago had nothing in common with Damon she met when he arrived in Mystic Falls almost two months ago. Surely, he could be cocky and arrogant also, back then, but he certainly wasn't cruel.

_'He was almost... human.'_ Elena thought as she rubbed her eyes. She knew that she always felt safe with him, the past and the present had that only thing in common it seemed. She didn't know what to think or feel any more. There were things back then, signs pointing to that he was actually a vampire, but Elena had never really noticed any of them. Although two years ago, Elena would have never believed in vampires.

The trip down to memories land continued…

* * *

_**Two years ago**_

The days passed quickly, Elena felt as if she were teleported to a dream world. She was absolutely, hopelessly in love with Damon and she was confident that he had strong feelings for her. Every day was something new, something wonderful and every day she felt closer to him. Damon had her dancing, laughing, swimming and kissing... They spent many hours together, she couldn't seem to get enough of him.

They were practically inseparable, leaving each other only when they had to. Damon had shown Elena a whole new world and she had never been happier. They often stayed at the boarding house talking and reading together. Damon loved to read to her, he would make cocky remarks about the history novels, he would make fun of the characters while Elena laughed snuggling up against him as they sat in front of the fire. Elena was completely charmed by this gorgeous man, everything seemed perfect until suddenly…

* * *

_**Present Day**_

Reaching for one of the final pages Elena felt her heart start to ache as if it remembered something that was coming within these last pages. The bright smile she had on her face the last couple of hours, as she was reliving some of the best days of her life, disappeared. She looked at the page she was holding, not sure if she wanted to continue reading...

_8th August 2008_

_Dear Diary_

_Something happened today and I feel like my whole word has been destroyed_

_

* * *

_

_**Two years ago**_

She was at the boarding house, sitting an a stool in the kitchen watching Damon cook for her. He was preparing her favorite meal and the kitchen was a mess. Pans lined the sink and random ingredients Damon was using were plastered to the table and some on the floor around him.

He was wearing dark jeans and a black shirt and he had a towel slung over his shoulder. His ebony hair was a mess, Elena felt the desire to go over and wipe them out of his brow. She was frozen in place as she looked at him feeling certain that he was the closest thing to perfection, like he was made just for her. No one would ever compare to him. She was in love and it felt just… right.

She smiled to herself, "Damon?" she said casually "Hmm" he muttered his eyes concentrating on the sauce he was preparing. "I love you." Elena sincerely stated

Damon's features marred suddenly by a deep frown, his shoulders tensing. He stood still for a couple of seconds taking some short breaths, his hands clutched tightly in front of him. He turned his back to her suddenly, throwing the spoon into the sink and stormed out of the kitchen, never looking at her.

Elena felt like as if she was hit by a bus. A mixture of anguish, venerability and confusion overcoming her as she looked around trying to grasp what just happened. She was being honest, opening her heart to him, letting him know how she felt and he just… left. Elena felt desperation taking over her. _"Am I just some casual girl, to spend time with, because he's bored?_" she thought and suddenly all of the emotions inside her turned to rage. She got up and followed him into the living room. She found Damon looking out the window. She stood behind him and put her hands over her chest.

"What is going on Damon?" She asked demanded, irritation obvious within her tone. He didn't answer so Elena spoke again

"I am not asking you to say it back… Although, I know that you care about me." she added firmly, as if challenging him to dispute her claim.

"You have no idea who I am, or what I have done" he said, the softness in his voice taking her off guard.

"I know what I feel and what we've shared these last two months. What I don't know is why you are acting so surprised by my feelings? What did you expect?" she yelled and her voice started to tremble her eyes watering and her sobs catching in her throat. She would not let him make her cry. "After everything we have done, all the time we've spent together, all the amazing things you've shown me. Tell me. Why did you even bother?" Elena reached for his shoulder in an attempt to make him turn around but was stopped when he spoke.

"I want you to leave now" Damon said. She could hear a threat hidden in his tone.

"What?" Elena asked confused "Why? We need to talk about this!"

"Now! Elena" he screamed, without turning to face her "Get out of here. You need to leave. Now!"

Elena was shocked by his reaction, she never expect Damon of all people to scream at her like that. She stumbled back, trying to breathe, her heart was beating fast and she felt the tears of frustration betray her as they fell to her cheeks. She turned and ran. She left the boarding house, got into her car and drove away as fast as she could sobbing harder then she could ever remember.

* * *

_**Present Day**_

Elena put her hand to her heart, as the memories of that day came back to her. She felt the same desperation and frustration she had experienced when he had left from his house. Everything was perfect and suddenly, everything just fell apart. Why? Was it because he didn't return her feelings? Even If he didn't, he didn't need to act like that. Then, Elena remembered a fight she had with Damon recently, when Vicky had died, he had used the exact same line then.

_"You need to leave."_

When Vicky died, Elena felt scared she had been afraid of Damon. In some twisted way that made her doubt herself as if she was betraying him for feeling that way. There were so many things she questioned, but no matter what, she was certain with Damon she was always safe. He would never hurt her plus he had proven that no one could ever hurt her, if he was around.

But why did he react like that, when Elena told him that he loved him? Why? Nothing was making any sense. She couldn't find any explanation for his behavior. The Damon she knew would be cocky and would probably rejoice, seeing her love for him as a win for his ego.

She continued reading, hoping that somewhere within these pages she would find the answers to her questions.

She remembered spending the next four days in her room, crying. She had refused to eat and wouldn't speak to anyone. Her parents were obviously concerned, but they wouldn't push her to tell them what was wrong. Maybe it was obvious that she was suffering from a broken heart and they were giving her the time and space she desperately craved. The conversation she had with Damon a few days ago kept replaying in her mind torturing her. She had text him a few times, asking what went wrong, almost begging for some kind of answer. He didn't respond to any of her messages until...

_13th August 2008_

_Dear Diary_

_I think that all my pain has just turned to rage..._

_

* * *

_

**_Two years ago_**

She received a text, her heart skipping a beat when she saw who it was from.

_"Meet me at the Grill at 8."_ the text demanded, flooding Elena with rage.

'How dare he!' She seethed 'After the way he acted, without an apology he demands that I go meet him. I just wont go.' She said firmly. As quickly as the decision was made it was changed.

"No. I will go. I'll go just so I can tell him that he is an ass and I hate him" Elena whispered trying to convince herself that it wasn't because she secretly hoped he'd explain everything and apologize and they could resume being happy together.

She arrived at The Grill at eight sharp. Her eyes scanning the crowded bar she abruptly feeling like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw him. He was sitting at the bar with a blond girl who had her arms wound around his neck. She whispered something in his ear and they both laughed as Damon leaned in placing a small kiss on her neck. Elena felt the ground leaving off her feet.

The green monster of jealousy over taking her she felt like crying and screaming when she saw Damon lean in and capture the girls lips in a heated kiss. Elena fought the urge to turn and run out of the bar as she walked quickly to him her eyes glowing in rage. She stood behind him, took a deep breath trying to steady her voice as she spoke.

"Hello Damon."

He turned around smiling. "Elena!" He said cheerfully "How are you?"

He was obviously drunk and Elena felt like she was being stabbed as his smile never wavered.

"You asked me to come. So here I am." She could feel her face flush as she tried to keep control of her emotions.

"Ohhh right?" he gasped feigning forgetfulness and turned his face to the blond next to him "Hunny can you give us a minute?" he said giving this girl a small kiss on her lips, playfully slapping her butt as she stood up from the bar and walked away.

Elena stared at him directly in his eyes, her gaze never faltered.

"Do you want a drink?" Damon asked casually as if nothing was happening.

"No. I want you to tell me what the heck you want to tell me, so I can leave." Her gaze narrowed.

"Why are you so uptight?" He asked smirking. Elena turned around preparing to walk away

"Ok. Ok" He said in fake defeat and she turned to face him again

"I just wanted to say goodbye." Damon said softly. The smirk disappearing from his face "I am leaving the day after tomorrow and... I just wanted to see you, before I leave."

Elena felt her throat clench in response.

"Leaving?" Her anger faded from her features, surprise replacing it.

"Yes. I..." He started to say and changed his mind the smirk appearing on his face again "I had a good time with you, but, if you don't mind I have decided to have different... entertainment, for my last two evenings here. So... Bye" He said and waved turning away from her, back to the bar.

Elena struggled to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks and turned around to leave, changing her mind she stopped herself.

She turned back towards him slowly, clapping her hands sarcastically and faced him smiling. "That was a pretty good show. Not my kind of comedy, but still... I have to say that it was good. I know I've enjoyed it." she said and felt satisfaction as she took control of the situation watching surprise fill Damon's eyes. "You may run away, but don't think for a second you can fool me. You asked me to come here tonight, so that you can show me that you are an arrogant bastard? Sorry, but I don't buy it." She took a step closer to him and lowered her voice. "What is going on? Why are you doing this?" She asked looking straight into his eyes, looking for the answer there.

"I am leaving and I want you to forget me. What happened Elena... It was a mistake" Damon said sincerely.

"No. It wasn't." Elena replied firmly

He turned his back to her and let a breath out "Its over Elena." He took a deep sip of his scotch, got up and joined the blond woman who was waiting by the door. Elena stood there for a few seconds not sure how to feel or react, before she walked away, feeling his eyes following her until she passed the door.

She returned home, her head feeling as though it would explode. She wanted answers. She needed to find out what went wrong, why he was being like this. She collapsed on her bed but there was no way she would sleep. She couldn't let him go, at least not before she learned the truth..

* * *

**_Present Day_**

Elena let the page of the diary fall from her hand as the tears kept spilling out of her eyes. She was so close to the end and she was exhausted. She had spent the entire day remembering things that brought her on a roller coaster ride of emotions, she wasn't sure she could take anymore. _"One page left" _she said looking down at the last ripped page of her diary. Suddenly she felt fear, she knew that she would be finished soon and would have to deal with what all of that meant for her now, in the present. Things were very different now, everything had changed. But first, she had to know everything that happened back then. She had to finish what she started. _"Why did you erase my memories Damon?"_ she asked out loud as she took the last page in her hand.

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**Ok. That was my favorite chapter so far, so please review and tell me If you liked it too. Its very important for me. We are close to the ending. Two or three more chapters and its done.**


	8. Forgetting

**Disclaimer: I dont own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately, I don't own Ian Somerhalder also **

**Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews. Special Thanks to Peachie X for her precious help for this chapter. I hope that you will enjoy it**

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Elena got up from her bed and walked to the window. She pressed her forehead to the glass and closed her eyes. She thought about how this morning she woke up and went to see Stefan, without having any idea what the day would have in store for her. These last few months her life was pretty crazy and most of her days were full of surprises, but nothing could compare to this.

She turned her head and looked back at the last page of her diary that she had abandoned on her bed, ready to reveal its secrets. _'The last day I spent in love with Damon and knowing about it.'_ She admitted to herself. Now, she was sure that she couldn't go back to how things where yesterday. She walked slowly back to her bed and sat down. Taking the page in her hands she spoke aloud "So, Why did you leave me Damon?" She closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and read what she had wrote.

_14th August 2008_

_Dear Diary_

_I've made my decision. I wont let this man walk out of my life without a fight, without answers…._

* * *

**_Two years ago_**

She had spent almost the entire day pacing up and down her room. "I can't let him leave." she was repeating. She knew, that the act he had performed for her last night was not the truth. She had spent the past two months with this man. Hours and hours together and she was certain people didn't change like that. For some reason he was trying to push her away. "Maybe he is afraid that I would hurt him, maybe, he is scared because his last relationship ended badly?" She questioned out loud. "That must be it." She decided it was the only logical explanation she could find and she became determined to convince him that she was honest when she told him about her feelings. "I have to fight for him. For us..." She said, her mind already made. Thirty minutes later she was knocking on the door to the boarding house.

Damon opened the door after a few seconds looking wrecked. His shirt open, his hair was a mess. He was clutching a full glass of scotch in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and Elena pushed passed him to go inside. She walked to the living room, feeling Damon following her. Stepping to the middle of the room she turned to face him putting her hands to her waist.

"Did you really think that you could get away that easily?" She said sternly catching Damon by surprise. He brought the glass on to his mouth and drained it. He walked to the bar and refilled it, without looking at her.

"What do you want Elena? A hug? To cry together and promise that some day we will meet again?" He snapped at her sarcasm filling his tone. "It's not gonna happen." He added seriously "This is not a fairytale and I'm, certainly, not your prince charming."

Elena walked over him slowly and reached to take his face in her hands, forcing his blue eyes stare into her brown ones. "Damon, you are going to hear this whether you like it or not" She felt her eyes start brimming with tears as she tried to keep her voice steady "You cant run from me because I love you. I love you so much. I know, that you love me too. This is real and you cant just walk away from it."

He closed his eyes tight. "Elena." He said pleading with her, removing her hands from his face. "You don't know. If you knew, you would never feel this way."

"I know." Elena stated at the same time the first tears fell to her cheek "I know that I want to be with you. And nothing else matters. I love you." She got closer to him again, daring him. "Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me. If you don't then I will leave and will never bother you again. So, can you say it?" She saw the struggle in his eyes but he stayed quiet. She wrapped her arms around his neck whispering against his lips "We can do this." She placed a small kiss on his lip and pulled away, just an inch, to look inside Damon's eyes and she saw hundreds of emotions flitting through his gaze. Fear, vulnerability, lust and finally resting on love. She could sense the inner turmoil he was going through. "I do love you Damon and I want nothing more than to be with you, to be yours. Make me yours, even if it's just for tonight" she whispered over his lips her heart beating rapidly betraying how much she desired him. He pulled her closer, capturing her lips so desperately, with such passion it was like their lives depended on this. He gathered her into his arms and without taking his lips from hers he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.

He placed her gently on his bed, looking straight into her eyes, trying to see if she was sure about what was going to happen. Elena raised her head kissing him passionately in silent acquiesces, letting him know that she wanted this as much as he did. He moved his lips from hers trailing them softly along her jaw moving down her neck, he placed a little kiss pausing for a moment as if he was trying to breathe her in. He returned to her lips, his breath coming quickly, matching hers. She reached her hands under his shirt trailing the smooth contours of his abs. Reaching to grasp the collar of his shirt pushing it over his shoulders. He returned the gesture, her shirt joining with his on the floor. Their eyes never leaving each other as if they both knew that no matter what the next day had in store for them, this moment, they wanted to remember completely.

Every touch, every kiss he placed along her body seemed to transport Elena straight to heaven. Her breath came in pants her mind completely overwhelmed with the sense that was purely Damon. Their clothes getting lost around the room, their hands unable to stop caressing, feeling, one another. They were addicted to each other, the sounds that echoed the room reflected back into their ears the desire and overwhelming need they had for each other.

When he finally placed himself above her his hand ran through her hair she leaned into his touch and smiled up at him. This smile was innocent and completely trusting. That smile was just for Damon and just for this moment.

He looked her over, she could see his arms trembling with his want to move forward and throw caution to the wind. But he withheld, she knew this was for her benefit, that he knew the magnitude of the gift she was giving him. Whatever the future held, right now she was only his.

She leaned her forehead to his chest nipping at him, silently begging him to continue. He finally pressed himself against her and when their bodies became one, she felt complete. She knew without a doubt and with her entire being that this was right. She was sharing with this man the most significant moment of her entire life up until then. Damon was giving her everything she ever hoped for.

He held her, whispering to her his thoughts of comfort and love through the initial pain, starting slowly and soon bliss took over her body. She clung to him feeling the need to be impossibly close to him.

She had never felt so alive as when her and Damon were connected it was as if they had truly become one, their thoughts only on each other, their love hung in the air surrounding them. Soon Elena saw stars, she felt magical. Their fingers entwined as Damon collapsed next to her with a content sigh and pulled her to him, neither ready for the contact to end. Elena rested her head on Damon's chest and stared at the ceiling while his arms held her close and he rubbed her head, playing with strands of her hair.

Her thoughts went to how lucky she was that her first time had been so incredible and with a man she was undoubtedly completely in love with.

* * *

Elena opened her eyes seeing the moonlight blanketing the room. Reaching next to her in bed she found Damon wasn't there. Sitting up she saw him standing in front of the window looking outside. The moonlight caressing his face gave Elena pause as she appreciated this gorgeous man. Feeling her heart rate increase at the sight she spoke softly. "Damon?"

His gaze never leaving the window he sighed quietly "I am really sorry Elena." his voice a whisper Elena felt her heart clench at his words. He turned around slowly and she saw desperation fill his eyes. They became empty and he looked…defeated and Elena felt the urge to go to him and wrap her arms around him to reassure him everything would be fine. Sliding out of bed she put his shirt on. Making her way over to him hugging him tightly resting her face against his chest. "Everything is going to be OK." she said "Don't worry."

Damon brushed though her hair with his finger and put his mouth on the top of her head. "I don't deserve you. You should be with someone good. Like this Matt guy, you have told me about. Maybe if I was more like my brother, Stefan, then maybe..."

"Shh!" Elena ordered "Stop this." She looked up, into his eyes. "I love you. You, no one else. I would never betray you. I will stand by you through everything."

She felt his body tense up at her last statement. Pulling away he captured her face into his hands. "I know that. I know." He assured her "That's what hurts me. Because I want to protect you and I feel that I am losing control of the situation. You can't love me because I am heartless, arrogant and selfish."

"No you are not." she protested and took a step back. "Stop this game. Why are you trying so hard to convince me that what I feel for you isn't right? I know it is." she said firmly

Damon sighed rubbing his hands over his face. "Elena, who I am with you is not who I am. It's not real, you bring out a different side of me, a side I didn't even think existed. It wont continue though, soon enough the real me will be back and you will see it." He grasped her shoulders leveling his gaze with hers imploring her to understand.

"If I stay here, with you, it's only a matter of time before you find out the truth. When you know everything there is to know, you will hate me. You will." he said with such certainty that it sent shivers down Elena's spine fear bubbling up inside her.

"What have you done?" She whispered placing her hands on his arms clinging to them.

"I… I have. I am.." He growled and turned away from her shaking out of her grasp. "I cant. This is a big mistake. I cant drag you into this and then there will be no turning back for you. I just cannot do it. I care about you too much to stay. If I bring you into this darkness with me you cant go back. Right now you have to forget me and move on."

Elena felt exhausted and angry. "You know what?" She laughed with out humor as tears started to fall again "I am sick and tired of this twisted little game of yours. I cant take this crap anymore. If you don't trust me, then what's the point? And honestly you are right! I don't want this pain. I wish it could go away. I wish I could forget you. I really want to forget everything that has happened between us. I want to leave and go home and never think about you, ever again. I pray to God there was some way that I could forget you. But I can't." She shrieked at him. Feeling overwhelmed her knees shook as if she might collapse at any moment.

Damon looked at her and swallowed hard."Give me your hand" he whispered. Elena felt a chill travel her spine but she complied. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. Then he took off the silver bracelet and as if in slow motion, he put it on the small table next to the window. Elena's breath caught in her chest, she wanted to ask him why he did that but the words wouldn't come. Damon brushed her hair away from her eyes. "I'm going to give you what you want." He said meekly attempting a smile.

Damon took a step closer. "I want you to know that I do love you, you have to know that." He said his voice shaking. He pressed his hands softly to her face placing a soft kiss on her trembling lips. Looking into her eyes, his pain reflecting back to her. "Elena..." The last thing she remembered was the blue velvet of his eyes…

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_**Present Day**_

Elena couldn't stop the tears from falling soaking the diary page she was holding. Sobbing she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her whole life had fallen to pieces and she didn't know where to start picking them up.

Damon had erased her memories because he thought that was what she wanted. Foolishly, he took her statement literally and because he thought that it was the best thing for her. '_Because he was too weak and too scared to tell me the truth.'_ Elena thought angrily. But then again could she really blame him? How easy could it possibly have been for him to say _"Elena I am vampire. I am almost 150 years old and I have killed a lot of people and drank their blood and by the way I've been searching for the past century for a way to release your doppelganger from a tomb." _She started laughing maniacally. She thought she was losing her mind, that Elena Gilbert after everything had finally cracked. She took deep breaths calming herself.

It wouldn't have been easy for him and surely if she had known what he actually was, she would have struggled to deal with. He had been right about that. Undeniably as hard as it would have been to deal with Elena knew that at the end she would have forgiven him for his past and she would stayed by his side. Because she knew that Damon was another person when he was with her, he wasn't a killer. He was kind, caring and thoughtful and the only person that could make her feel this way._"He was then and he still is."_ Elena said out loud. Elena was sure that the Damon he was around her was actually the real Damon and the monster he created of himself was just a ruse. She wiped away her tears with the back of her hands and stood up gathering her strength. "I have to talk to him." She determined and walked from her bedroom.

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**I am desperate to know your thoughts for this chapter. Did you like it? Please let me know. **


	9. The letter

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I dont own Ian Somerhalder also...**

**Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews and Special thanks to Peachie X for her help. Please let me know If you like this.**

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Elena burst through the door to the boarding house and ran inside. "Damon!" She shouted as she quickly walked into the living room only to find Stefan there.

She frowned as he looked at her from the middle of the room.

"Hi Elena." He said, concern obvious in his tone.

"Stefan." She replied walking over to him.

"I think we need to talk." Stefan said softly.

She nodded at him and sat on the couch, not daring to look at him.

"How long have you known about this?" Elena asked as Stefan took the seat next to her.

"A couple of weeks. But Damon didn't tell me much, he revealed it all today."

"You should have told me." Elena whispered.

"I know. It was wrong to keep this from you, but I was afraid." Stefan touched her jaw and turned her face so she was looking at him. "I was already concerned about you and Damon bonding and then, after what Isobel said... I just didn't want anything to come between us. I am sorry Elena. I really am. I swear I will never keep anything from you ever again. Please try to understand why I was scared." He pleaded

"I understand and I forgive you.." Elena stated sincerely.

"I love you." He said looking deep into her brown eyes.

"I love you too." She said with obvious hesitation.

"But..." Stefan added, correctly interpreting that she had more to say.

"But, we cant go back to where we were in our relationship."

"Please don't do this." Stefan begged.

"I have to be honest with you. I have to do what I feel is right. I care about you like I care about Matt and Bonnie, you are a dear friend Stefan and…" Elena explained. He put his finger to her lips, asking her to stop.

"You are obviously very upset right now and you don't know what you are talking about. The memories are still fresh in your mind and you must feel confused. When you calm down and think this through you will see that the past is the past and your present is here. With me." Stefan said softly.

"I am not confused Stefan. Not any more at least. Actually its the first time, in a long time, that I am not confused. I had been these past few weeks but not any more" Elena stated.

"What do you mean?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"You said it yourself. It was strange how Damon and I have bonded recently. How much I trusted him, how close I felt to him. After everything he had done, it didn't make any sense. I was drawn to him and I didn't know why. But I knew it scared me."

"Elena..."

"No, let me finish." she raised her hand. "I was feeling guilty and scared of my feelings for Damon. I was trying to deny them and I kept feeling ashamed. But now, I know that I shouldn't feel ashamed Stefan. And I refuse to do this anymore." She waved her hand in between them indicating their relationship. "I have to stop denying what I really want. I wont do it to myself, or to you. This is not just about the past. This is all about the present, right now. Regaining my memory didn't change my feelings. Its just helped me see that it's okay to feel like this. I am relieved, because finally I can say it, without being scared that I am making a wrong choice." She took a deep breath "I am in love with Damon." She stated firmly. She felt her heart crack as she saw pain fill Stefan's eyes. "I am really sorry." she whispered, looking down at her hands "But we all deserve the truth, it's always been him, Stefan, it's always been Damon."

Stefan got up from the sofa and walked over to the bar. "I will try to accept this, Elena. Because I love you and I want you to be happy. But I'll need some time. This just hurts too much" he said after a few seconds. Elena walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug. "I am sorry and thank you for being so understanding." She felt truly grateful that he didn't try to make it more difficult for her, more than it already was.

"I really need to talk to Damon." Elena said as she released him. She saw a strange expression in Stefan's face before he turned his back to her.

"What is going on?" She asked "Where is he?"

"He left and I don't know where he went" He sighed, turning to face her.

"He... left?" Elena asked, thinking she must have misunderstood him. "What do you mean? When is he coming back?"

"He said that he isn't coming back. He packed his things this afternoon and left Mystic Falls. For good."

"What?" Elena yelled, feeling dizzy _'No, no'_ she repeated in her mind.

"I am really sorry Elena. He said that it was for the best. For all of us."

"Then I'll just call him" she said, her voice anxious as she searched for her cellphone in her pockets.

"He changed his number Elena and he didn't give me the new one. Obviously, he doesn't want to be found"

Elena looked at Stefan, eyes wide with surprise and desperation. _'This is not happening' _She thought _'I cant loose him. Not again.'_

Stefan walked to the library and came back with an envelope. He walked to Elena, who was still standing wide eyed and in shock. He extended the envelope for her to take. "He left this for you." he deadpanned.

Elena looked at it for a few seconds, afraid of what was hidden inside, she took with both hands.

"Do you want to be alone?" Stefan asked.

"I think I'll go home and read it there." Elena replied mechanically and Stefan nodded. Taking her hand into his he lowered his gaze to capture hers "If you need anything, I am always here for you." He said.

"Thank you Stefan." she whispered and gave him another hug, before she walked out of the boarding house.

On the way home her head was spinning. _'How is it possible that he left without even saying goodbye? How can he just disappear and change his number?'_ Elena's hands clutched the steering wheel turning her knuckles bright white. She was frustrated, hurt and most of all, she was pissed off.

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She got home and head straight into her bedroom _'It seems that the reading will continue today' _she thought sarcastically and took a seat by her window with the envelope still in her hands.

She dropped her eyes to the envelope seeing_ 'Elena' _written on it in Damon's perfect script. She traced the letters with her fingers and then slowly opened it. She took out the letter that Damon had left for her unfolded it carefully. With a sigh she started reading.

_Dearest Elena_

_I know that you probably hate me by now. I am really sorry about everything. I am sorry that I wasn't honest with you, but I hope that you understand. I hope you saw that erasing your memories was the best thing I could do for you. I am a monster and you thought that I was a prince. When I would look into your eyes all I could see was love and I couldn't bare to see this change into fear and disgust for me. You were living in a lie and I am so sorry that I dragged you into this. In 145 years I managed to turn off my humanity and in all those years the switch had flipped back on, only twice. The first time was two years ago, when I met you and the second time was during these past couple of months when I was around you. You are my humanity, Elena and you will always be. I loved you and I still do. That's why I had to leave again. This time, I promise, for good._

_Seeing you with Stefan was hard for me but I know that it is right. He is a good person and I know that he loves you. He will protect you._

_I have tried to convince myself that when I returned to Mystic Falls it was for Katherine. The truth is, that I was desperate to find her again, but not for the same reason I had before I met you. You see, I don't know when and I don't know how, but somewhere along the way Katherine became your replacement._

_I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you always._

_Forever Yours,_

_Damon_

Elena closed the letter carefully and put it back inside the envelope. She closed her eyes tight and took a shaky breath. She had shed so many tears today, she didn't seem to have any left. She felt hollow, like someone has removed her heart. Damon left and for the wrong reasons, again. He thought that she would hate him. He thought she would want to stay with Stefan. He couldn't even stick around to hear what she had to say. She felt angry towards him. He was being so blind and so stubborn and shockingly insecure. The great Damon Salvatore, with the biggest ego in the world, left, because he was sure that she couldn't possibly love him back. He could not have been more wrong.

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It had been two weeks since Elena had regained her memories. She stayed in her room, sitting by her window. She went through her days robotically some times crying but mostly she was lost in her own thoughts. She was hurting so much because for the second time in her life she lost the one man who she was in love with. 'At least this time I can mourn my loss.' she thought sarcastically 'It's better to know, than to feel empty and have no idea why.' She would reassure herself.

One afternoon Elena was perched at her usual spot by the window when Jenna peaked her head into the room.

"May I?" she asked slowly opening the door and Elena waved at her to come in.

"I am worried about you." Jenna said sitting on the bed. "What is wrong? Is this about Stefan?" Her eyes scanning Elena's face as if looking for some kind of clue to her niece's misery.

"No. Its not." Elena sighed.

"Please Elena, talk to me." She pleaded "I know that I haven't be around lately… God I feel so bad that I heard today, from Jeremy, that you broke up with Stefan a couple of weeks ago. I am really sorry I wasn't there for you..." Elena raised her hand signaling for her Aunt to stop.

"Don't worry Jenna, really, I am not upset about Stefan. Breaking up with him was my choice and it was the right one. I don't have any regrets about that."

"So? What's bothering you?" Jenna asked

"If you want to do something for me, let's just talk about you, I could use a break from my own thoughts." Elena said forcing a smile to her face "How are things with you and Alaric?"

Jenna eyed Elena contemplating whether she should push the issue. Finally, she smiled and her cheeks flushed "Pretty good actually. We've been spending a lot of time together and … last night"

"What?" Elena asked urging her to continue.

"Well we almost...were intimate." Jenna blushed

"Almost? Why? What stopped you?" Elena asked smiling genuinely for the the first time in weeks.

"Damon" Jenna replied annoyed as she rolled her eyes.

Elena frowned "What?" She asked jumping up of her seat "What do you mean Damon?" Jenna looked surprised at her reaction "He called Alaric and I at the most intimate…"

"He called Alaric?" Elena asked, her eyes widened with anticipation "Why?"

"I don't know" Jenna replied, astonished. "They speak once every day…" Elena felt her heart stop "They speak every day?" she repeated, practically shrieking at Jenna.

"Yes... " Jenna replied but before she had the chance to ask again what was going on Elena interrupted "Where is Alaric now?"

"He is at his office... " Jenna stood up confused, as Elena grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the room.

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**Next chapter is the last one. Let me know If you liked it so far. Thanks!**


	10. Love

**Ok. So this is the last chapter! I really hope that you like it. I want to thank you for reading this story and especially for reviewing it. I am really grateful.**

**Special thanks to Peachie X, who helped a lot with this story. Meaghan you are a great writer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries or these characters. Unfortunately I dont own Ian Somerhalder also...**

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Elena drove with no thought to speed limits and got to the school in no time. She ran down the hall to Alaric's office and slammed open the door her eyes scanned the room wildly. Alaric turned to face her, surprised by the suddenness of her arrival, staying silent as she caught her breath.

"Where is he?" she asked, her voice still unsteady from running.

"Who?" He asked

"Damon, Alaric. Don't act like you don't know who I am talking about. Where is Damon?" Elena snapped.

Alaric paused for a moment, searching for the right thing to say.

"Well?" Elena asked again, throwing her hands in the air as she walked closer to him.

"He is going to kill me." Alaric stated raising his eyebrows.

"If you don't start talking, then I will kill you." Elena said firmly trying to put threat behind her voice.

Alaric sighed and ran his hands through his hair realizing that there is no way out of this for him "I don't know where he is."

"But you speak with him. Every day! Jenna told me, so, start talking." Elena said

"Well, before he left he came to find me. He told me about..."

"Us" Elena interrupted

"Yup"

"...And?"

"And, he asked me to keep an eye on you. He gave me his new number and he told me, no actually he demanded in true Damon fashion, that I would call him immediately if anything was wrong. So, we speak once a day, just so I can tell him everything is OK."

"Did you tell him that Stefan and I broke up?"

Alaric looked surprise "I didn't know." he said honestly

Elena sighed and collapsed into a chair by Alaric's desk. "Don't. I want you to call him, right now and tell him that I am missing."

"What?" Alaric asked raising his voice

"You heard me. Call him and tell him that I left my house yesterday and no one knows where I am."

"No. no, no, no"! Alaric said firmly, shaking his head back and forth. "He will kill me Elena."

"No he wont, and if he does, luckily, you have a ring for just such an occasion." Elena smirked and stood up to walk over to him, resting a hand on his shoulder she plead with him. "Please. He has to come back and you know he will come immediately if he thinks that I may be in danger. Please Ric. Help me. I love him." Elena confessed her voice full of desperation. After looking at her for a moment he let out a surrendering sigh and grabbed his cellphone, as a bright smile covered Elena's face "Thank you" she whispered and he couldn't help but smile too.

Alaric dialed and put the phone to his ear. "Hey Damon." He said after a few seconds "I think you have to come back... Now." After he explained to Damon, that Elena was 'missing' he hung up the phone. He furrowed his eyebrows, "Vampires don't get heart attacks right?"

"No, Ric. They don't" Elena laughed rolling her eyes at him.

"Oh, okay" he sighed "He ordered that I go to the boarding house and wait for him and call him if anything changes. He will be back in 3-4 hours tops."

"Thank you." Elena said smiling and gave him a big hug.

"I am a dead man" Alaric joked and hugged her back. Pulling away he asked "So, now what we do?"

"We do what he asked." Elena said "We 'll go to the boarding house and wait for him."

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They heard his car speed up the driveway, stopping quickly with tires screeching. Damon stormed into the house, shouting "Alaric! Stefan!" as he walked into the living room. He suddenly stopped short and frowned when he saw them. His eyes widened in surprise and confusion as he glanced at Alaric, Stefan and Elena who were sitting in the room, comfortably. He stood still, his mouth was open but no words came as he tried to understand what was going on. Alaric got up from his chair and walked towards the door pausing next to Damon he smiled "In case you want to kill me, I'll be in at Jenna's." At the same time Stefan grabbed his jacket "I am going hunting." He said as he also left the room. Elena got up from her seat and faced Damon. "Are you okay?" He asked after a moment, concern obvious in his face.

"Well, I wasn' t missing if that's what you are asking. But other than that, no Damon. I am not Okay." She snapped at him and put her hands on her waist. Damon didn't say anything, so she continued "You have no idea how mad I am with you. Why did you leave like that? Why didn't you wait to speak with me, after everything? How can you be such a fool and so selfish that you didnt stay here to face me, after you knew that I would remember what happened between us two years ago?" She closed the distance between them. She felt her blood boiling as her hands clenched into fists at her sides "And you just left me a letter? Oh, that was soooo Damon. Always having the last word. Right? Well, think again!" She said raising her voice "Because you are going to hear what I have to say about it whether you like it or not." Damon stumbled a step back from her obviously startled by her rant. "You cant walk away from this every time you feel like it. You will stay here and you will deal with this situation and with our feelings. Do you have any idea how I felt, when I came to see you and I found out that you were gone? Leaving me a letter? A letter Damon? Really? How can I say 'I love you too' to a letter?" she screamed "You are the most arrogant, stubborn ..."

Elena's tirade was interrupted as Damon pulled her firmly against him and captured her mouth with his and kissed her passionately. Elena wrapped her arms around his neck returning the kiss with equal fervor. All their frustration, pain and love, was poured into the kiss. Elena felt her heart sing as electricity ran rampant through her body. His hands pushed under her shirt and trailed up her back as he explored her mouth with his tongue and moaned when she did the same. They were lost to this kiss, they never wanted it to be over. Their need for one another so pent up for so long it was impossible for either of them to stop now, had they actually wanted to.

Elena pushed off his jacket as he backed her into a wall, she found herself effortlessly lifted up and wrapped her legs around his waist. The heat from their bodies at this angle caused a blissful reaction as they claimed one another. This wasn't about desperation as their time together before had been. This was purely about need and passion. No one was going to run or try and escape, they had time later to explore and be sweet with one another. Now, was simply about satisfying the burning desire they had for one another. Elena was expressing all of her want for Damon through the passionate way she touched him.

Elena's hands made their way to the bottom of his shirt grabbing the end and pulling it over his head in one quick motion. Her breath coming out in a gasp as he took the easy way and ripped her shirt from her body, throwing the tattered remains to the floor. He carried her to the couch, his lips never leaving hers, except to occasionally leave a trail of burning kisses down her neck as she regained her breath. She dug her nails into his back, clutching him to her, refusing to ever let him go. She nibbled on his ear whispering to him 'Damon, I want you.' She was surprised how her voice came out low and out of breath. He smiled against her neck and within moments they were rid of all of their confining clothes. This moment was about forgetting the past, forgetting the pain and becoming one without the fear of losing one another.

As they finally connected Elena was overwhelmed with the perfection, as her hips met his in perfect time. She felt her heart explode as familiar stars quickly filled her vision. They called to one another, their names holding promises of the future to come. She felt complete when they were like this, nothing else in the world mattered but _Damon_.

While taking a break from ravaging each other, they were lying in front of the fire, his arms around her waist holding her close.

"What you did, two years ago, it was a mistake. You shouldn't have made me forget." Elena whispered against his chest breaking the silence.

"All I wanted to do was to take away your pain." Damon sincerely replied.

She pulled away briefly her brown eyes poured into his blue ones.

"I know that you think you took it away, but it was still there. Even If I couldn't remember why, I still felt empty and alone. Making me forget didn't fix that. It couldn't fix what was really wrong. Because my heart remembered it was missing you, it missed us, together." She said softly. Leaning over him she took his face in her hands.

"Damon, I always knew that it was you who I loved. I was so scared by those feelings because I didn't understand. But it has always been you and I am not afraid any more."

He pressed his lips to hers kissing them slowly "Are you sure?" He asked as he brushed his hand over her face.

"I am." Elena replied with certainty "I love you."

Damon rolled them over so he was pressed against her holding her beneath him.

"I love you too." he said, as he captured her lips.

_THE END_

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**OK. This is it. Did you like it?... Until the next one. Bye and Thank you! **


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